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Tax Quotes For A Laugh

February 21st, 2006 at 09:20 am

One of the true joys (**sarcasm dripping all around**) of living in a foreign country is that you not only get to do your US taxes, but also the taxes in the foreign country. Japanese tax forms are actually a lot less complicated than US tax forms except for one teeny, weeny factor... they're in Japanese!.

I struggled with my Japanese taxes until 4:00 AM (made a promise to my wife to have them done) so I'm a bit sleep punchy today. At one point I just needed a few laughs to get me through the process and came across these tax quotes I had gathered a couple years back. If any of you are struggling with taxes, hope these can bring a smile to your face:

1. "I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat." - Michael McShane

2. "Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids." - Harvey Mackay

3. "There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure." - Dan Bennett

4. "I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing isI could be just as proud for half the money." - Arthur Godfrey

5. "Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?" - Peg Bracken

6. "Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag." - Jay Leno

7. "If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead -- if you strike oil." - J. Paul Getty

8. "On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away." - Tom Lehrer

9. "What's the difference between a tax auditor and a rottweiler? A rottweiler eventually lets go." - anonymous

10. "It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta." - Dave Barry

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